Welcome to TankWatch. The only place you need to look to cheer Philadelphia Flyers losses and victories of other terrible teams.
It’s the beginning of a new week with Flyers hockey. Spring is in the air and the prospects are on the mind. There were significant debuts in the past and even more in the future. But it’s enough about development and players currently under contracts, let’s try to lose some available points to get a shot at good players this summer.
Here’s a brief look at how things are shaking down over the next few days:
Chicago Blackhawks – 10 games left, 59 points
At the top of the Bad Hockey Team Pile are the Blackhawks and their downright horribly bad season. Luckily for us, they have an opportunity to pull away from the rest of the pack with games against the Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Sharks; where the former just saved out on a three-goal lead against the Minnesota Wild on Sunday, and the latter just downright sucking badly. Only a few mediocre teams are getting started, so it’s at least fairly equal chances for Chicago not to be a tank threat.
Ottawa Senators – 10 games left, 58 points
The Sens, oh the Sens. The whimsical team from the north has kept a steady presence at the bottom of the league, and like Chicago, they have a potentially big win for them when they face the Detroit Red Wings on Tuesday. Unfortunately for us, it desperately wants them to gather their shit in the late season and earn some points, their two games after that are against the Boston Bruins and Toronto Maple Leafs. One could hope for yet another Toronto disaster, but their monthly quota seemed to have been met.
Philadelphia Flyers – 10 games left, 57 points
It does not feel good to be upset when this team scores goals – if you are reading this article you are most likely pro-tank – but there is really nothing to think about other than what the younger guys can and where they end up in the overall position. As we all know after seeing this team for 72 whole games they can lose anywhere and anytime, but with the upcoming games against the Washington Capitals on Tuesday and the New York Rangers on Wednesday, it feels like a solid and safe zero point earned.
New Jersey Devils – 10 games left, 56 points
Oh the poor team that’s under the Flyers, how the hell did you get there? First out are the Devils, and even though they won the low season, they could not escape the gripping fist it was to play hockey games. It’s a really mixed case for New Jersey, but there will be at least some positive things. On Tuesday, they will face the also bad Coyotes in a match that we all hope goes into overtime, and on Thursday they will be hit by the NHL’s best Colorado Avalanche. Maybe we can cheer on a disturbance, but betting on Avs feels silly.
New Jersey seems to be the team that really cheers on (gross) the rest of the season, and it would be great if they could suddenly move up over the Flyers eventually.
Seattle Kraken – 10 games left, 52 points
This is where we doubt any of these teams will make enough effort to suddenly finish over Philadelphia. The Kraken have their second overall pick, Matty Beniers, making his debut on Tuesday against the Calgary Flames, so maybe that could give them some more winning potential, and even on Wednesday, they face the mediocre Winnipeg Jets, who could be also a victory. Maybe Kraken will finish with 56 points at the end of just two games. We are all Beniers fans.
Montreal Canadiens – 9 games left, 51 points
Les residents have fewer games left and fewer chances to get points than any other team, but perhaps Carey Price’s return will be enough to get some of the precious victories down the stretch. In the first half of this week, it’s just a game against the Columbus Blue Jackets, so who really knows what might happen there?
Arizona Coyotes – 10 games left, 49 points
There is simply no chance of the Coyotes moving up. It would be a catastrophic failure of a deliberate tank job to get more teams to jump you to the bottom. Should we even think about their upcoming game? We do not even really want to think about this team.
Thank you for tuning in to TankWatch.